Sex has been so stigmatized and vilified throughout Western history that we should probably be very careful is passing judgment on any one’s sexual behavior. Yet there is no doubt that some people become so preoccupied with sex that it causes difficulties in their lives.
We can refer to this as sexual addiction, but we should be aware of the dangerous tendency to judge harshly any sexual behavior that differs from our own. On the other hand, there is no escaping the fact that sexual conduct is an important issue, as well as a target for moralists.
Sexuality is a fascinating and extremely complex subject. In the small space we are able to give to sexual addiction here, I’ll refer to two states of being that seem to result in this behaviour.
In the first of these, there is an overstimulated emotional and physical condition from which release is desperately sought. In the second, there is an almost opposite kind of existence, a flattened landscape badly in need of some excitement.
The human nervous system cannot experience both pain and orgasm at the same time. Since pain, both physical and emotional, is a absent at the moment of sexual climax, it follows that more climaxes mean less pain. I mentioned this because I’ve noticed that many sex addicts are in severe pain.
Quite often it is physical pain, particularly in men, and i’ve observed that men with chronic health problems become preoccupied with sex disproportionately often, The great poet Lord Byron, for example, had a clubfoot and endured severe pain throughout his short life. By today’s standards, Byron would definitely be considered a sex addict.
Sex can also provide an escape from emotional as well as physical pain, not only at the moment of orgasm but throughout all the stages of search and seduction. Quite often a sex addict really wants and needs to be liked, but since he or she feels excluded from this, the alternative is to be loved, at least in a physical sense.
For people who become sexual addicts to escape pain, sex provides a kind of tranquillity. These people’s systems are chronically overstimulated and the purpose OS sex is more to dampen their internal fires than to ignite them.
A second category of sexual addiction results from a kind of under stimulation that culminates in depression. Some escape has to be found from an apparantly purposeless existence, and sex seems to provide it. SEX CAN MEAN EVERYTHING OR IT CAN MEAN NOTHING. Perhaps it is best something somewhere in between.