Cure anger naturally. Basically, you are going to try to talk yourself out of being upset, if your rational examination of the situation leads to the conclusion that your initial cynical thought, angry feeling, or urge to act aggressively was inappropriate .
As soon as you succeed in talking yourself out of being angry, simply drop the matter. Let’s examine the various questions again, this time adding the step of following up your no answer by reasoning with yourself.
To begin, enter into a dialogue with yourself in which you consider the objective facts of the situation that stimulated the initial hostile thought, feeling, or action. In this dialogue, consider only what you can actually observe, not what you infer about some one’s motives.
After this objective examination, refer to your road map to decide if the traffic light has changed twice and you have yet to drive through the intersection, but you will still get to work on time. Why are you turning the delay into a big deal? Do you have better ways to spend your time than being upset?
Whenever you could be better occupied, the whole situation is too valuable to waste on so petty a matter. You can take control, refuse to measure out your life in droplets of spleen.
In most situations, you can decide on the basis of the objective evidence whether you have enough information to evaluate the situation. If you do, you can almost always conclude whether your hostile thoughts and feelings are justified or not. Whenever you conclude that your anger isn’t justified or that you lack the necessary evidence to decide, try to talk yourself out of being upset.
You have deduced that your cat had jumped on top of your bookcase, knocking off a glass you left ther, was the cat being malevolent or simply behaving like a cat? The latter is more likely.
Rain pours down the day of your long scheduled party, the weather forecaster had predicted only a 35 percent chance of rain, but is he responsible for the weather? Of course not! You have just arrived at an unfamiliar train station. The central display clock been broken for fifteen minutes or fifteen days? You don’t the answer to that , so you can’t know if anger is justified or not.
On the other hand, you can conclude that the neighbor who for several days in a row allows his dog to perform bodily functions in your yard instead of his acting inappropriately.If you decide that the situation merits your continued attention, that you are just justified, or if you feel angry anyway, next ask yourself if you have an effective response available.
Sometimes you can respond effectively. You can ask the inconsiderate neighbor who allows his dog to defecate on your grass not to do that etc. Whenever you lack a good response , follow the road map and reason with yourself that uselessly spinning your wheels harms only you.
With careful logic, try in your internal dialogue to convince yourself that your response will not change the person who first aroused your ire, if that is indeed the case. The weather may be nasty, but your ranting and cursing isn’t going to melt the first icicle.
After you finish these dialogues evaluating the merit, justice, and effectiveness of responding to whatever upset you , refer again to the road map. Ask yourself “Am i still angry?” If the answer is no, congratulate yourself. You have succeeded in defusing your anger.
When the answer is yes, next think what’s going on inside your body right now.